March 1, 2026

Good morning Pa! How are you? I’m already awake, clapping my hands to let you know I’m ready for my ‘sallabay’. Sallabay is when you pick me up from my bed, carry me on your back, and take me from my room to the dining table for breakfast. I remember that you continued doing these things for me even through my college years and it feels good, Pa! You’ve made me feel that I’m always your ‘baby-baby’. After we had breakfast together, you would always have my hot water ready for my bath, carrying it and pouring it into the pail so all I had to do was bathe. These were part of our daily routine when you were here, and though years have gone by, these memories remain clear as if they happened just yesterday.

I sometimes pause and imagine what my life would have been like, our life if you were still physically with me/us until now. But then I realized that maybe we are meant to spend the eternity in another lifetime. I am always grateful that I get to bear fruits from the kindness and goodness you planted all the 54 years you lived in this world. I am humbled to be called as your daughter, and Mama’s partner in life.

It’s been 8 years since I last saw your beautiful smile, heard your voice and contagious laughter, and felt your warm embrace—years spent longing for your presence and hoping to see and be with you again. I miss having a father.. I miss calling you, “Papa”.

Some days feel heavier than others – there were days that I feel happy when remembering you and there were more of days, I feel sad and I just find myself missing you knowing your just here and your steady presence more than ever. It’s been 8 years and I thought I am okay but I see everyday how much of myself was connected to you—you being so loving, kind, patient and understanding, your calm and sweet voice calling me ‘baby- baby’, you, always whispering in the background how much you love me while I’m on the phone with Mama, your contagious laughter,  positivity and calm presence made everything feel right. Now, there is an irreplaceable void and the silence rings louder than any words. Even if you are not physically with us Pa, your unwavering love endures and will forever cherish this. Thank you for your love, Papa. Deep in my heart, I know you are resting joyfully and peacefully in paradise— where loneliness and sickness are nowhere to be felt and found, where endless praise rises to the highest. Somewhere beyond clouds, sky, and stars—far beyond what I can see or imagine—your presence remains close enough for my heart to feel.

I know in my heart that you’re watching over me, Kuyang, and specially Mama – not just only during our big memorable moments, the highlights, milestones and celebrations—but also in our quiet ones.

I miss you every single day and with every fiber of my being, Papa. I love you so much!

Your forever baby-baby, Mamenyayu.♡